Will IT Be The Same?

I've been packing.

Packing everything for my kids to go to my aunts, and packing my hospital bag. I feel like we are packing for a vacation that will not be fun. Maybe my kids will have fun but I am not so sure my aunt and uncle will be having fun.

Someone asked in the comments if my aunt drinks. Why yes, yes she does, but lets not encourage her to drink until AFTER my kids leave because she needs to have all her mental faculties with six kids. I'm just so thankful she takes hormones and crazy drugs because she will need a steady stream of something to keep her going for a week.

Right now I have a to do list that is a mile long. I am not sure I will be able to fit it all in before Monday when I have to drink the magnesium citrate. Yum.

I'm trying to look at the positive side of that however. I am sure to lose weight right? I mean a few pounds of poop and excess water, not to mention the next day a few pounds of reproductive organs. I am expecting to be at least 10lbs lighter when I get home since they will practically be starving me at the hospital.

I just love the pre-op and post-op papers they gave me for my surgery. According to these papers I only have 48 hours left to have sex. On the post-op papers it says I cannot have sex for six weeks. I am not sure who I feel worse for, myself or Mr. K.

I think I am going to feel worse because at least he gets to, you know satisfy his urges. I'm just unscrewed because I was told nothing could go near or in my vagina for six weeks. SEX WEEKS! (omy! that was a real typo)

See it's already on the brain and I haven't even got past Saturday yet! That typo, should have read SEXLESS WEEKS though. I'm just saying.

I haven't gone without sex for more than a few weeks since July 1992. Even after I had babies I didn't wait more than three weeks. I may be the horniest person ever by the time December 22nd rolls around.

Isn't it sad I have it down to the date?

On a serious note though I will be honest in telling you that the recovery process scares the shit out of me, which is probably going to help me out come Monday, but because there is a little more to this abdominal surgery than when I had four cesarean sections. I will actually be in the hospital longer than when I had my last three children, will be able to pick up less weight, and have been told that I am basically to sit on my ass and do nothing. Which frankly I am tired of doing, and it's the Holiday season, and let us not forget I have FIVE KIDS!

Also, I am worried about how this surgery may impact my sex life? Will it be the same? Better? Will my sex drive crash and burn? Will orgasms be different? Will I still have them? I know these questions seem ridiculous but they are real concerns, because let's face it, SEX is a big part of my life. I'm still young. I don't want to turn into one of those women who grows a mustache and starts to think of dick as a name instead of an appendage.

So I want to hear from my readers. I want you to give me the best post hysterectomy sex advice you can give or if you just have a good tip for recovering after major surgery that will be fantastic too. O, and I am willing to reward such great advice by giving away a $50 Gift Certificate to Eden Fantasys in a Random Drawing on Monday November 16th, 2009. You will get one entry per comment that has a tip for post recovery sex or healing! Re-tweet this giveaway and post it with a link to your tweet and that will also get you a entry into the giveaway.
Now that is something to get excited about! While I am sexless one of my lucky readers can be enjoying in some fun alone or with someone with some sex toys from Eden Fantasys! Just think of poor pitiful me when you are doing it.

On second thought, maybe not.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

One of my favorite things about the month of November is all the programs they show on the Food Network about Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving and I look forward to hosting it this year, even though I will not be doing a lot of the cooking.

We had a great Halloween this year. The weather was perfect and my kids had so much at our friend's annual party. They hosted a trunk or treat which the kids did all by themselves.

So far we have had no incidences that require the use of an Epi-pen. Katie over the past year has really matured and doesn't eat anything without asking if it has peanuts in it. Just yesterday I gave her some candy and after she opened it she stared at a long time, looked at me and asked "Does this have peanuts in it?" Just to confirm. It was a proud moment for me because she is understanding that this allergy is serious and can be harmful to her.

Yesterday I was sick. Now I feel fine. Not sure what that is all about. One week from today I will be carved up like a Thanksgiving turkey, however there is no baby coming out this time. Trust me when I say I am grateful for that!

I've been thinking about my aunt and uncle who will have my five children for a week. Did I mention they were in their fifties and only have one child (she is 7)? Now they will have six under their roof for a week. My aunt quit smoking eight years ago, lets pray she doesn't go back to it by the end of next week. I'm afraid for them. Very afraid.

My friend Jennifer has been very blessed by so many of you and your generosity, because of you all she was able to buy groceries, put gas in her van, and get the much need birth certificates so she could get aid for her children. Thank you all so much.

Now I have to go get back to my long to do list before the big day. There is still so much to do and I have Mr. Meeker's wedding this weekend.

Go check out more Random Tuesday Thoughts over at The Un Mom.

Top 10 Things To Look Forward To After My Hysterectomy

You should see my to do list for the next eight days. It's long and I have no idea how I am going to complete it. However, I have no option. It all must be done. Next weekend is Mr. Meeker's wedding and then next Tuesday, its Bye Bye Beautiful Wreck's Uterus. Be sure to come to the Twitter party on Monday night, November 9th. I will be hosting from the bathroom since I will have had to chug down some magnesium citrate according to my doctor. However I am trying to look to the positive side of having to have major abdominal surgery, besides getting rid of my uterus.

The Top Ten Things To Look Forward To After A Hysterectomy

10. When people tell my I am acting like a bitch because I am on the rag, I can laugh in their faces and tell them I don't have a uterus, I'm just naturally this way.

9. I will never have to wear underwear again if I don't want too.

8. I will never have to use birth control of any kind ever again.

7. I will know with 100% certainty that I will never be pregnant.

6. I will wear white pants and not be afraid.

5. My husband will never hit my cervix again while we are having sex which often sends me into orbit.

4. The only PMS I will suffer with is that of my own daughters.

3. Hot flashes. Just another reason to take off my clothes.

2. I will never have to buy giant really absorbent pads with wings for myself ever again.

1. The only periods I will have will be at the end of my sentences.

Firday Fill-Ins The Day Before Halloween Edition

And...here we go!

1. It was a dark and stormy night, and while the kids were asleep me and Mr. K were snuggled up tight.

2. Mr. K had to go teach a class so I offered to take the books myself.

3. Rushing out, I forgot my diaper bag hanging near the front door.

4. While walking through the old cemetery...I think I heard a howl!

5. Shhhh... be very quiet or we making get caught TPing that mean old witches house.

6. Trick or Treat! give me something good to eat!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to carving pumpkings with friends, tomorrow my plans include making costumes and going to a Halloween Party and Sunday, I want to work on some sewing projects!

For A Moment I Thought I Was Going To Have To Perform My Own Hysterectomy

Its not been a good week. If you follow me on Twitter you may have read on Tuesday that I got a letter from my doctor's office informing me that my doctor was going to be out of the office and that all of her appointments and surgeries had been canceled. I freaked out. I turned into a weepy, hysterical mess over the idea that my surgery would have to be postponed.

I am in a lot of pain. I hurt everyday, all day long. I don't like myself. I don't like how this pain impairs me, and impairs my mood. It's hard to be a nice, loving mother when you feel gut stabbing pain all the time. My patience is thin, my tolerance level low. I often feel I have entered a new realm of crazy. I wear pajamas most the time. I'm depressed. So you can imagine how I felt when I found out that my surgery was not going to happen. It was ugly up in here.

When I finally spoke to Ms. Pat at the doctors office I explained how I felt and how upset I was, however I was willing to wait on my doctor. See, I love my doctor. She is a wonderful person and I have a great relationship with her. I trust her with my life without hesitation. So I told Ms. Pat on the phone how I felt and she was very understanding but she had more bad news for me. My doctor, the one I love so much, hand had been operated on and her hand is now disabled. She has not been released to do surgery and she is undergoing physical therapy for her hand. The truth of the matter is, she may not ever be able to do my surgery. I was then heart broken, because this is the doctor I love so much and full use of her hands provides her with her livelihood.

However another doctor in the practice was willing to take my case. A doctor I had never seen before, never met. I felt incredibly uneasy but reluctantly agreed to meet with her Nov. 9th, twenty hours before my surgery. Several things were said in my conversation with Ms. Pat that didn't leave me feeling confident. For one, this doctor read my chart wrong. She also questioned the method of how the surgery was to be performed and she had not had experience with my uterine malformation with adhesion before. I voiced my concerns and Ms. Pat said I could come in, meet with the new doctor and if I still didn't feel comfortable we could cancel the surgery and I could go to someone else in the group.

The next twenty four hours I spent trying to gather information on this particular doctor. I had a hard time at first because no one really knew of her. She is fairly new to the practice and is not as experienced as some of the other doctors at the hospital. I didn't come across anything that gave me reassurance and this was after I spoke to some people who work with her at the hospital. I am sure she is competent. I am sure she is a good doctor, but I will be honest in telling you that I want the surgeon with the most experience operating on me. In my gut I just didn't feel right about any of it and I didn't want to go in on the 9th of November, in pain, and make a decision because I just want this all over with.

So today, I called Ms. Pat to cancel my surgery and make arrangements to see another surgeon in the group that came recommended to me. This third surgeon I have met with previously during my pregnancies and she had assisted with one of my csections. I also found out she has been doing some additional training in urogynecology as well. Before Ms. Pat though took me off the surgery schedule she asked to put me on hold. I thought she was putting me on hold to get my an appointment to consult with this third surgeon and after holding for nearly thirty minutes she finally came back on the phone to tell me that she had taken my chart to the third surgeon and asked her if there was anyway possible she could do my surgery on November 10th. After looking over my chart and talking to Ms. Pat about me, the fact that I am in horrible pain daily, have five children, and freaking out that I may have to start this process all over again she agreed to come in on her day off and do my surgery.

Did you just read that? She is coming on the morning of her day off to do my surgery.

I am very grateful. I really need to have this done and for weeks all the arrangements have been made for my children, for Mr. K to work from home, etc. Now I am a lot more relaxed about going in in eleven days for the surgery. I feel horrible for the doctor that I love, but I feel that I am in just as competent hands with the third surgeon.

I am not going to lie though. I have a lot of anxiety about this whole process. So send all your positive vibes, good mojo, and prayers my way.